You are my -----

I really don't know what made me think of it, maybe the sadness of not living near my loved ones or the thought that life is so fragile and fleeting. I have yet to keep my own personal vow of sitting down write letters to my oldest, middle, or youngest child. Though I have written them many times over in my head. I haven't written a letter to my mother in many years and nor have I written my brother. My husband receives the obligatory holiday cards and the "just thinking of you" cards, but a love letter is long in coming. I always fear that I may die and my young children would never "know" their mother. They wouldn't know me as their friend nor as their esteemed advisor. At this point my oldest would know me as a nagger, a chore lister, a the person whose constant is "you'll understand my reasoning when you get older." While I know he has no doubt about my unwavering love, my unconditional devotion, and his greatest champion, he does not, however know me as a "person" and "chosen" friend, a role model. At this moment I am fulfilling my role as a MOTHER. My younger two solely know me as the nourisher, the "teacher", the silly song singer, and of course the kiss stealer. But, they have yet known me as a person and I fully know those days are far off in the distance. I do relish every role I play in their lives and only hope that I will be fortunate enough to play these roles until the day comes when they favor me as a friend. My mother hasn't heard my words of her importance in mine and my children's lives in quite a while and my brother has never known my admiration for accomplishments and his convictions of always being true to himself first, nor of my deep love for him for being the only other soul roaming this planet that can understand where I have been and why I am going. And my wonderful husband, hasn't been gifted in quite some time in knowing how truly special he is, what an admirable man, father and husband. He has heard plenty of complaints, but not nearly enough compliments. Plenty of "honey dos", but not enough accolades. Plenty of.... everything he shouldn't have to continuously hear and not enough of everything he should continually hear.

I only mentioned writing these particular letters to some of the most important people in my life and yes, there are many other people that are deserving of a letter from me- my other loved ones- friends as well as family, I don't quite think they each know what they mean to me individually and collectively. I would write my children many things in their letters; my hopes and dreams for them, advice I hope they would treasure, stories of my childhood told in my own voice, the things I found important in life and the dreams I have always had. My letter to family and friends would be filled with the gratitude of being a part of my life, filled with "our" stories, with the hopes and dreams I have for them. Every letter would be filled with love and all those other things I never find the time for. All those things I put on the back burner. All those things that are assumed the other person knows. Until the time my legacy letters are penned, I share my favorite poem of all time... and for all of you that read it please know that I am thankful you are not only in my dash, you all have made my dash worth writing about.


The Dash Poem



I read of a man who stood to speak, at the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on this tombstone from beginning ….to the end.

He noted that first came his date of birth and spoke the following with tears.
But he said what mattered most of all, was the dash in between those years.

For the dash represents, all the time he spent alive on earth.
And how only those who loved him know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own; the cars, the house, the cash, what matters most is how we live and love and how we spend our dash…
So think about this long and hard. Are there things you’d like to change?

For you never know how much time is left, that can still be rearranged.
If we could just slow down enough, to consider what is true and real.
And always try to understand, the way other people feel.
And be less quick to anger, and show appreciation more,
and love the people in our lives like we’ve never loved before.
If we treat each other with respect, and more often wear a smile…
Remembering that this special dash might only last a little while.


So, when your eulogy is being read, with your life’s actions to rehash
would you be proud of the things they say and how your spent your dash?

by Linda Ellis